Thursday, March 14, 2013

screaming kids

I was standing in a long line at Target and this girl in front of me had a cart full of stuff, including 2 small children, and a small stroller with a baby. The oldest child, maybe about 6, was crying and yelling at the mom saying "you are mean, and you don't love me" and "why can't I have this?! I WANT it!". I was minding my own business, but at some point my eyes locked with that mom's eyes and you know what she did...she smiled at me. And I felt SO bad for her. She never once said anything to her screaming child and she just kept smiling.
Before I had my son, I would have been SO annoyed and thought to myself "why on earth would you bring, not one, but 3 kids to a busy store on a busy day", and "why on earth are you not telling your kid to SHUT up".  (harsh, I know. but you know you have asked yourself the same question at least once). The truth is, I bet she had no other choice but to take all 3 of her kids with her to the store and I bet she did tell her kid to PLEASE be quiet at least 10 times. Until you are in that particular situation, you will not understand "why".


And now that I have a kid, I understand, and that's why I felt bad for her. I wanted to tell her that I was amazed at how calm she was, because my heart would have been racing out of frustration. I wanted to offer to help carry her stuff to her car, because I would have abandoned my cart way before even getting to the line. But I didn't, I just smiled back as nicely as I could, trying not to make it look like a sympathy smile.

Have you been in her situation or do you "not" have kids and wonder "why" when you hear screaming kids?

7 comments:

  1. Ive been in that situation far to many times. I guess you just dont "get it" until your a mama huh! I would always say "id never let my kid act like that" well kids are kids and they have bad days too!

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  2. I am always amazed at all you busy mothers who do so much all while loving and taking care of the screaming kid(s)!!

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  3. This is a beautiful post, Sarah! It's the second one I've read this week about how before we have children, we think we know what parenting is all about, when really we have no clue! It's sooo true!

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  4. I do try to be sympathetic even though I don't have children. I think it comes from being with my friends with kids and knowing how tough parenting actually is.

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  5. i would just look at my kid and say, "oh you wait until your mom hears how you are acting, i bet your mom hates when you act like a spoiled brat".
    is that a bad answer????

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  6. Girrrrrrllll.. I don't think I've EVER been to Target w/o hearing a child cry.. and most of the time its an infant.. so its that infant desperate cry... its something about Target.. we all want everything.. sometimes I cry...

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  7. Hi Sarah,
    Thank you for this post. I am the mother of screaming boys and I'm starting to tear my hair out trying to figure out how to curb the screaming. There is always such negativity about "other peoples badly behaved children" so it's nice to come across an empathetic word for a change. Most of the time my boys just scream out of sheer excitement or frustration(about anything, going to the park, putting on your PJ's, waking up in the morning, the garbage truck is coming, being told you can't have something, brother took my toy, my sock has a crinkle in it... whatever) but no doubt when I'm out and they scream it looks like they are bad children. They are not! I only hope it is a phase they grow out of, and since I rarely see 16 year old boys just screaming for no particular reason, I feel confident they will. If it were me in Target catching your sympathetic gaze I probably would have hugged you for helping me to my car. You should totally do it next time, it's a beautiful thought, turn it into a beautiful action. Thanks again.

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